Spring comes and flowers bloom
Summer comes and memories melt but…
The four seasons don’t suit me well, I’m a cold person
My hard personality is like the skin-cutting winter
The cold wind – you all know
To me, coldness is everything, it’s like the winter sea
Send a boat off and you’ll see that I’m not an island but an iceberg
I lost my focus because my eyes are frosted
The cold memories have been trampled
I keep screaming even without my uvula
I was an icy road with only painful scars remaining
My heart crumbled as if an avalanche came down
After I put things back in place
The lights were off and it was night
Though the sun called you has risen
The snow-covered mountain does not melt
It’s cold here even when I hide my hands in my pocket
It’s so cold even when I blow into my hands
My heart is so frozen that my lips get cracked
I’m the only cold one even when I wrap my body in blankets
It’s so cold even when I’m in someone’s embrace
I try to block the hole in my heart but the wind keeps coming in
The spring comes with a fluttering heart
But I’m standing at the tip of fall My memories have stopped in the winter
I’ve put all the warmth in between the cracked skin of my dried heart
Memories are trapped inside the frozen river But it holds onto me and doesn’t let go of my hand
After I got to know the cold separation
The blooming spring doesn’t come anymore
Cherry blossoms fall like snowflakes, it’s cold here
Sunshine falls like a snowstorm, it’s only cold for me
If I touch anything, it freezes so I’m afraid to hold your hand
Because if you come close to me, your heart might catch a cold too
It’s cold here even when I hide my hands in my pocket
It’s so cold even when I blow into my hands
My heart is so frozen that my lips get cracked
I’m the only cold one even when I wrap my body in blankets
It’s so cold even when I’m in someone’s embrace
I try to block the hole in my heart but the wind keeps coming in
I’m cold as ice. I’m cold as ice. I’m cold as ice. So cold.
Spring comes and flowers bloom
Summer comes and memories melt but here…
It’s cold here, it’s so cold
My heart is so frozen that my lips get cracked
It’s only cold for me, it’s so cold
I try to block the hole in my heart but the wind keeps coming in
Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street Faster than the wind, passionate as sin ending so suddenly Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all Losing him was blue like I'd never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met But loving him was red Loving him was red Touching him was like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer Regretting him was like wishing you never found out that love could be that strong Losing him was blue like I'd never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met But loving him was red Oh red Burning red Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes Tell myself it's time now, gotta let go But moving on from him is impossible When I still see it all in my head Burning red Loving him was red Oh losing him was blue like I'd never known Missing him was dark grey all alone Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met 'Cause loving him was red Yeah, yeah, red We're burning red And that's why he's spinnin' 'round in my head Comes back to me, burning red Yeah, yeah His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street
I miss the old me all of a sudden. This moment. You know.. I always wanted to be happy. Even though last time I'm someone that is so childish! But, I'm happy everyday.
Pain, had turn me into someone I barely even know about myself.
Into someone very mean, drama act, always doubt people, fierce, anti social... Just because I hardly trust anyone else since I know trust can be trash up so easily. Yours, the only 100% trust build in years.
Maybe you still won't understand how it feels. Don't even bother. Feel I'm talking bullshit. But I know, the day you found the girl you loved the most. But it's not me, I know. You'll understand what I ranting about all along.
Zhile say I always good till you appear again. And I lose again. I know. You're my zing! If you watched hotel Transylvania , you'll know what is Zing.
Today I met up with some old schoolmates. She say now I so pretty already but why still single. I say because I had someone perfect for once. It's hard that I not comparing them with you. You know, it's automatically compare. I don't want to hurt anyone else. Now. If I tell you I'm all great. You believe?
Can you see how strong I became. I'm not relying anyone else.. I'm sure you're happy to see that.
But I missed the old me. The one you loved and hated for once.
You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
Id rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
In what you say or do
Im only just beginning
To see the real you
And sometimes when we touch
The honestys too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through all the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
Im just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth
And sometimes when we touch
The honestys too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
At times Id like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times Id like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you try
I watched while love commands you
And Ive watched love pass you by
At times I think were drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again
And sometimes when we touch
The honestys too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I want to hold ya till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I want to hold you till the fear in me subsides
Subsides
朋友一个一个有了个伴,都不理我了,我始终还是一个人。;')
All of them just want to accompany their boyfriend. When their boyfriend are busy, they'll find me.
Me? Who shall I find.. ;') I already kept too many things in my heart my mind.. There's no one I can share my happiness and story with.. Tired.. Goodnight.
I've a dream last night. It is a very clear dream that I able to remember almost the whole dream of it when I woke up. You know what, I've tell you so many things in the dream that I've no chance to. I really smile and happy from the bottom of my heart. Why I know is from the bottom of my heart? Thanks to donkey that whatsapp me around 4am in the morning that woke me up from the beautiful and memorable dream. When I woke up, I able to feel my face muscle is tired. I touched my face. I touched my mouth.
I'm smiling.
I feel shock that I actually smile out in real instead of just in the dream. Just because I knew I only can smile like this in my dream and so I tears again. So, I can more confirm that how important of you to me. I've never been smile like this and happy like this throughout the year. I miss my smile. I miss my happiness.
Will dream come true? No, it won't. Never will.
I'm still trying hard. It's just the impact is too strong than what I ever had before. Just like I'm being single now also kena insulted. I reject people also kena insulted. Love someone also can get insulted. Can anyone tell me what to do? Can you feel how hurt am I. I know you cant. You won't bother anymore. You just throw damn alot of question marks to me and left me live with it.
What I wish now is pray to god that no one approach to me. One by one approach, one by one the past memories reminds me.
and this is how i live throughout the year.
I know a dream is a dream. You'll scold me because it's a dream. I shall wake up right. I know. and I'm trying hard.
Why are you still stepping in here?
Why are you still stalking?
What do you want?
Ask yourself about it and use your brain and think.
And yes, I'm talking to you.
It's been month I dint update because I know I will be posting same and same thing. Time flies fast huh.. Months ? Half year? Going a year? Theres many thing happened in those passed months that you dont know. I think you dont even bother or wanted to know it because its annoying and irritating. Haha. I only know I need to lift up my face muscle to smile. To make there's no worries on me. I really hold strong to face a lot of thing alone. Make my own decision. Solve stupid problems. And get fooled by guys again and again. Guess that I'm really good to be treat as entertainer huh. There's no where I can rely on, not even family side. Dear god, can you just give me someone that I can rely on.. I'm tired...